Last weekend a Halloween party was occurring at the apartment next door. It was so loud that it might as well have been taking place in my own bedroom, in my bed even, but I let it slide until 3am when Mambo No. 5 started blaring, causing all of the scantily-clad girls to shriek and cheer.

Just then I peeked out my window, and just as I did I heard the guy next door shout “I bet apartment 4 is getting ready to call the cops! They’re a bunch of bitches!”

“Bitchesssssssssssss!” shouted some random whore.

So then I called the cops.