OMG I momentarily forgot that I have a blog. And by momentarily I mean for 6 months. Please forgive me.
Today I was writing at a hippie cafe when a large, weird, kid (and by kid I mean early-twenties) wearing his iPod came up to me and started a conversation about how .02% of a body’s mass is plastic, due to the bits of plastic that we swallow when drinking from soda bottles. And then about how he licked paint off his finger once on the way to Yellowstone and was sick for 3 days. And about how he can only use the Pus and Boots glasses he got from McDonald’s as decoration because they are lined with cadnium, much like Ancient Romans lined their wine with lead. “That’s why children today eat so many paint chips,” he said, though i don’t really understand where that came from.
Then he started a conversation with the Indian gentleman sitting near us.
iPod guy: How was your day today?
Indian gentleman: Pitiful. Just like every other day. Pretty much par for the course at this point.
iPod guy: What do you think is the single biggest mistake in the history of brewing beer?
Indian gentleman: Volstead Act.
iPod guy: Nah, I think it was the adding of lime.
::::::Indian gentleman sighs, puts down his book, and rubs his forehead::::
Indian gentleman: Do you even know what the Volstead Act was?
iPod guy: Um, refresh my memory
Indian gentleman: It’s what started the Prohabition.
iPod guy: That’s what started Nascar too.
Indian gentleman: It started a lot of things.
iPod guy: Do you think they’ll try another Prohabition again soon?
Indian gentleman: They already ARE!
iPod guy: In the U.S.?
Indian gentleman: What do you think drug laws are?
Indian gentleman proceded to give a lecture about his outrage over the high drinking age in the U.S. and marijuana being illegal.
Listening to this was really interfering with my ability to write poignant prose. So I packed up my laptop and went over to Krys’ apartment and we went shopping and she bought an outfit that she saw me wear last week and then we each bought the same outfit, so now we have 2 outfits the same and that’s nice for if we ever have to do co-therapy or just if we want to be festive. Then we decorated the YSB with a blind woman and her two dogs, for the graduation party of some kid i don’t know. Then we watched her foster child almost get hit by a car. That’s all you need to know.
PLEASE COMMENT PLEASE.