Doug and I set off over a week ago to have an adventure out west. And an adventure we have had. Or, more accurately, an adventure has had us.

We spent a few days with my aunt and uncle at their house in Story, Wyoming, and then took off for a few days at Yellowstone National Park. (We also planned to pass through Colorado to visit a couple of friends, but that dream is as good as dead).

Our time at Yellowstone was amazing. We rode horses through the mountains, went white-water rafting, did some hiking, saw Old Faithful, until…

Remember not so long ago when I was gloating about our minivan years? Yeah, the minivan years are officially over. After seeing Old Faithful we crashed our van into a car carrying a family of six. Nobody was injured, thankfully and amazingly, but the tow truck drivers pointed to the damage on our dear minivan and laughed when they thought we weren’t looking. The auto place we got it towed to said the damage is too much for them to handle and it will have to be looked at by a dealership 100 miles away in Bozeman, Montana. And since the accident happened Friday afternoon, nothing can even start to happen until Monday- the day we planned to arrive home.

But please check out our photographs of South Dakota and Wyoming.

And our photographs of Yellowstone National Park.

And If those don’t interest you, I will provide a numerical summary of our trip below:

Hours spent inside or locked out of an empty school waiting for clients to arrive: 0

Roadside attractions stopped at despite swearing we wouldn’t stop for any roadside attractions: 5

Cowboy hats purchased by Doug: 3

States we can add to our tally of states we’ve visited together: 4 so far

Rainbows seen: 2 (at the same time)

Bison spotted: Countless

Elk spotted: Countless

Badger spotted: 1

Coyote spotted: 1

Ounces of bear spray purchased: 8.1

Bears spotted: 6

Ounces of bear spray remaining: 8.1

Family vacations we ruined: 1

Cars likely totaled: 2

Bars of cell phone service at the site of our accident: 0

Miles ridden in tow truck: 130 (30 yesterday, 100 tomorrow)

Days we have to wait before dealership can even look at our car: 3

Days I can continue without doing laundry: -4

Times I’ve altered our hotel reservation: 3 (added a night, subtracted a night, added a night)

Attorneys who have called to inform me I am being subpoenaed as a witness for an incident that happened over two years ago: 1

Percentage of body sunburned: 82%

Miles we are from home: 1200

Kittens at home wondering what happened to us: 2

Money found while hiking to put toward a new car: 20 cents

How and when we will get home: No idea, but I am thinking about starting a “Bring Julia and Doug Home From Yellowstone” fund and opening it up to donations.