The following are statements Doug made while I watched the first episode of Fuller House.

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“This is surreal. It’s like what you see after you die but before your brain is dead.”

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“I hear DJ kills herself in the first episode.”

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During the scene that juxtaposed the characters singing “Meet the Flintstones” in the 80’s with them singing it now: “What is this, a grim reminder of the passage of time?”

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“I’m having a hard time dealing with everyone’s sexuality.”

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*After he immediately turned the TV off after the first episode*

Me: I want to watch the next one!

Doug: No way.

Me: Oh come on, you marathon Degrassi all the time!

Doug: That’s completely different. Degrassi goes down smooth. This was like swallowing a dish rag: it was difficult, it took a long time, and I thought it would have to come back up.