Step 1. Arrive in town several hours later than expected due to an unplanned post-work nap. Miss a turn on your drive home and get in a fight with your GPS narrator when she suggests you correct your mistake by turning on “Highway Mm,” which doesn’t exist, and which she pronounces “Highway Millimeters.”
Step 2. Ignore the Voicemail your friend leaves the next afternoon asking you to come hiking with her family, because you are still half-asleep and having a dream that you are sick to your stomach from smoking K2.
Step 3. Invite your friend over to have dinner with your family. Allow her to end dinner by sharing an alarmingly graphic story about a man who got tied up to a chair, had his arm sawed off, freed himself by sliding his bloody stump out of the rope, used his belt to craft a tourniquet, and then stepped on his own hand on his way to the phone.
Step 4. As you are all recovering from this story, have your dad drop the “You Are Special Today” plate your mother served your friend dinner on- the plate that has seen you through all the most special days of your childhood. This will be an apt metaphor for growing up.
Step 5. Sit through a slideshow of your friend’s photos. Realize how comparatively little you have accomplished in the past 2.5 years as you see the school she built and the children whose educations she personally funded. Decide that one day you will start being less self-focused, but let’s be realistic, probably no time soon.
Step 6. Stay up late together drinking raspberry wine and talking about nipples. Get hyper with excitement around 2am when the two of you decide that you must fly to Chile together in order to resolve a study-abroad love story from years ago. Decide that the best thing to do is book tickets now so that you’ll “just have to make it work.”
Step 7. Have your friend and her sister run outside the next morning as you are backing out to point out that you have left track marks in their neighbor’s lawn. You never did master the art of backing out of curved driveways.
Step 8. On the drive home, note that this is the first time in a long time that you have said goodbye to your friend without feeling like your heart has just been yanked out of your chest, remaining connected by only a stringy, bloody thread. Realize its because this time, for the first time since you were 18, you know it won’t be a matter of months or years until you see each other again. Smile.
You are such a terrific writer who makes me laugh. Love this post.
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Thanks, glad you enjoyed!
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I NEED one of those plates!
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You’re right, you do. I remember in elementary school we had to make a list of Needs vs. Wants. This definitely would go on the “Need” side.
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Oh, that’s so touching! Especially the chainsaw part. ; ) Hope you get to enjoy many more fun times with your friend.
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Thanks! She’s actually notorious for ending dinner with very gross stories, usually involving animal death. Good to know that 3 years in Africa hasn’t changed her.
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We ordered a new plate so you don’t need to grow up after all!
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Glad to hear it!
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Sarah Halliwell – I already LOVED you but I added the link to my page! I’d be more than happy to share your work with anoyne!! I entered because my husband and I are about to have our first baby (little girl ) and I have swooned over your photography for so long I would practically do anything to have a shoot with you!!
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I took copious notes in case that ever happens to me. Very funny and endearing post.
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Glad you will be prepared- you just never know.
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katerina douvli – Oti kai na poume einai ligo!!!!!!!!!! Gnwrizoume polu kala kai emeis apo tin foto tou giou mas. Eisai ateopiutss fotografos!!!! Kai auti i douleia sou einai teleia!! Se thaumazoume oikogeneiakws Antonis, Katerina kai o mikros Panos!
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So adorably funny! Love your blog.
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My best friend’s family has that same plate, and it would be a definite mood killer if someone broke it. It’s at EVERY birthday party, anniversary, graduation….I thought it was a little strange at first, but I learned very quickly not to dis the plate!
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Haha. I think it should be a staple in every household.
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Such a fantastic trniniag camp. I have been in awe of Robs magic, humbled by Duncans straight forwardness, given a hint of Hatsumi sensei by Steve and inspired by Sven-Erik. I have so much information that I’m still trying to write it down, four days later. And of course every lunch break and evening is filled with trniniag all I have learnt. Thank you for such an inspiring time. Bring on October 2012.
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How do I enter the photo contest where do I post my link/pictures? Thanks! Reply:October 13th, 2010 at 8:36 pmClick the blue Add Your Link butotn and follow the steps. Thanks!
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I think youve produced some genuenily interesting points. Not as well many people would basically think about this the way you just did. Im really impressed that theres so substantially about this subject thats been uncovered and you did it so well, with so considerably class. Superior one you, man! Really good stuff right here.
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