Dear New Car,
I could tell you were feeling nervous when we brought each other home today. I was nervous, too. It’s awkward, isn’t it? We barely know each other yet, but we both sense we are in for the ride of a lifetime.
We are going to have adventures like you cannot even imagine yet, New Car. I want to take you to the ocean, and the mountains, and everywhere in between. I want to show you small towns and big cities. I hope you have an explorer’s soul. I hope you don’t mind getting lost.
There’s nowhere we can’t go together—weddings, interviews, witch trials, bra burnings, monster truck rallies, noodle wrestling competitions, kikis, insane asylums, spaghetti parlors. The future is ours.
And yet I can’t help but feel like our most profound bonding will occur in the small, ordinary moments. Like when you just let me sit quietly inside of you for a few minutes after difficult days at work or trips to the gyno. And when you rush me to my leasing office five minutes before my rent is due.
This is not to say our bond will be perfect, New Car. There will inevitably be times when we let each other down. One day I might find out you need a major repair three hours before a road trip and I will curse the day you came off the assembly line (don’t listen to me—I won’t mean it). And I will undoubtedly spill Dorrito crumbs into your seat crevices. I may even back you into the occasional parked car in the Bruegger’s parking lot. Not because I’d ever want to hurt you, but because that parking lot is tighter than a rat’s butthole. You’ll understand when you see it.
You’ll see everything. I cannot wait to show you my favorite clothing stores, drive-thrus, taco trucks, clothing stores, scenic drives, and clothing stores. I LOVE CLOTHING. You’ll learn this.
I can’t tell you what the coming years will bring. Maybe you will meet my future children. Maybe you’ll accompany me on a book tour. Maybe we’ll ride out a zombie apocalypse. Only one thing is certain—no matter what the future brings, we will navigate it together.
And I’ll just go ahead right now and address the elephant in the room: no, it will not last forever. Nothing in this life does. But let’s not waste time worrying about that, New Car. Let’s roll like there will never be a newer model. Let’s make these years count.
So glad to have you along for the ride, new friend.