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(As I looked around the apartment on a Sunday Morning)

Me: I have everything I ever wanted in life: a home and a love and two kitties! What if God realizes I got more than my share and starts taking things away?

Doug: That’s usually how it works. Maybe he’ll come for your eyesight.


(While hugging)

Me: Hugging is so nice. Who do single people hug?

Doug: Probably a new beautiful person each night that leads into the best sex of their life.


(While reflecting on Doug’s potential future music career)

Doug: Do you think that one day I’ll be the voice of America and my music will be playing in every household, while a child in a little American flag suit sings along, and in the next room the boy’s father is sleeping with his secretary as his wife walks in, and after that they grow to resent each other and they get into long arguments every time they’re in the car together, and eventually they just give in and get a divorce?

Me: Why is that the fantasy?

Doug: I’m a realist. I can’t become famous and the world becomes perfect. I’ll be famous in a world that has adultery and misery and pedophiles.


Me: Why do teenagers get into music so much more than anyone else?

Doug: Younger people connect with music with greater passion because they’re still developing and working their way through their life story. When you’re a teenager, you might give or receive a handjob, and you’ll be crying afterwards or maybe during, and there will be a song on the radio and you’ll connect with it; and it’ll be a part of who you are for life. Then you get older and your genitals wither a little and you become numb to everything.