Carry bird bones across an attic plank

Say “I’m sorry, but I have to watch you pee” on a near-daily basis

Dodge a punch to the face

Coerce someone into continuing therapy by performing stand-up comedy about the extra bone in my foot

Sneak my way onto a 6th grade field trip

Be the one who signs the forms allowing drunk drivers to get their licenses back

Conduct a session twenty inches away from a jar of someone’s urine

Drive a kid to gymnastics practice and hang out in the waiting room with the other soccer moms

Pause a serious session while a stranger walks their bicycle across my office

Fall asleep in group therapy

Spill someone’s urine on my scarf

Join a patient in prayer when a priest shows up out of nowhere to give Communion

Get five needles stabbed into each of my ears during clinical training