“I’m going to give my blog a makeover and make it all about the weird issues we face in our late twenties,” I told Noemi this weekend after we’d had a rousing debate over whether or not to eat a cucumber out of a stranger’s refrigerator.
“What would you even have to write about?” she asked as she popped a hot Twizzler in her mouth.
“Oh, you know,” I said. “Never meeting any of your goals, never having enough money, feeling bored and useless at work, feeling bored and useless after work, watching your ex-boyfriends get married, not having friends, trying to make friends, not really wanting to make friends, watching your parents age, having recurring dreams about your first love, feeling jealous of people whose lives are more interesting than yours, news feed full of babies, fantasies about how life could have gone, trying for three years to buy a couch, summers not being fun anymore, losing your memory, losing your personality, losing your sense of humor, and feeling unreasonably depressed that you’re not as hot as you were when you were sixteen.”
Noemi glared at me. “That sounds super depressing.”
“It won’t be!” I said. “Well, maybe it will. But I’ll also make it light and funny.”
So, here we go. Depressing and light and funny and honest. Welcome to the journey.
“Watching my parents age” – I’ll be looking forward to that being light and funny!
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I hate to break it to you: these thoughts are exclusive to your late twenties.
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Are or aren’t?
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Aren’t.
Wow. A dropped negative really changes everything.
Carry on. Forget I was here.
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Just had to check and make sure you weren’t assuring me that all of this would end forever on my 30th birthday!
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I have anxiety re: feeling pressured to have kids but also being EXTREMELY CONCERNED about how my cats would react to a baby. I’ve seen them with babies and the results were Not Good. Then I feel guilty for putting my cats above my hypothetical unborn children.
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I always have anxiety about my cats’ relationships with my hypothetical unborn children! My concern is actually that I love my cats SO MUCH that I worry I won’t have enough love left over for actual kids. Parents tell me that’s irrational, but I don’t know… I really love my cats.
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I feel the same way! What if I’m a terrible mother and I ignore my baby for my fur babies? What if social services take them away from me and I go to jail? Then I’ll have NO CATS *AND* NO BABY.
Sometimes I comfort myself with the fact that cats are like permanent three year olds, so I’m probably good to love a real baby up to that point. It’s a gamble after that.
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NEWS FEED FULL OF BABIES. LMAO. Laughing because it’s true, and it hurts.
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WEDDINGSBABIESWEDDINGSBABIESWEDDINGSBABIES.
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Summers are not as fun at all. Love the changes, can’t wait to follow along.
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Thanks!! 😀
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