Tuna Casserole

by: J-Bo, age 15

5 ounces of egg noodles
2-6 cans of tuna
1 can of cream of mushroom soup
1 cup of frozen green beans
2 ounces of shredded cheddar cheese
Who would have thought such seemingly innocent elements
Would unite to accomplish their one common purpose
Hellish rebellion against all that is good
Oh, tuna casserole
You are not worthy of the dish upon which you are served
You belong in the toilet, which is no match for your wicked stench
I feel nothing but sympathy
For the unsuspecting fish whose fate rested in you
Stripped of its innocence and its beauty
Not only are you a pathetic excuse for a meal
You are a disgrace to all humanity
Surprisingly less attractive than my dead grandmother
With your wet, limp noodles, like a stretchy string of mucus
The memory of our encounter still haunts me
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night crying, screaming
And, oh yes
I can still taste you
I can still feel you
Trickling down my throat with your unfamiliar texture
And your manipulative ways
As I wonder if I’ll live to see tomorrow
Or even if I’ll want to
Because I know that you are forever inside of me
Clinging to my digestive tract
Like a constant, nagging reminder of my every imperfection
And all things that might have been
Like a stabbing pain through my heart
Though somehow grotesquely worse
You are the recurring nightmare that replays itself constantly
Not only on the kitchen table, but deep within my mind
Deep within my soul
Dampening my spirits and strangling my inner child
Please, oh tuna casserole
Please free me of these binding chains

tuna